Where He Sends

“When therefore it was evening, on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst, and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’” – John 20:19 

Insecurity. It sort of plagues me.

Writing and speaking formally has been an evolving process. I never planned to become a writer—though I’ve communicated for some time through the written word. As for speaking, I still remember sharing devotions in high school. My eyelid twitched nervously nonstop! On a personal level, people have responded positively to my ministry endeavors. But the professional level feels out of my league. Too long … unpredictable … expensive. And I question whether I have what it takes.

Rejection. I’ve felt the sting.

Armed with proposals and waiting for my big break, I’ve attended writer’s conferences a few times—truly loving them overall. Smiling and connecting, scheduling and meeting, I’ve attempted to place quality material in front of editors. Yet nothing significant has resulted. Though I try to be myself and offer my best, my work remains … mine. So I’ve retreated, in a sense.

The Lord opened the door for me to plan and speak at the Connecting with Christ Conference this past September. He inspires me to blog these weekly devotionals and to write monthly articles for “Sophie Woman’s Magazine”. No problem exists when the audience knows or at least supports me. But when I’m placed outside my comfort zone and experience the pressure of impressing professionals, I freeze.

Fear. It prevents me.

Just as the disciples fearfully locked themselves in a room, I erect walls around me to relieve my fear. I won’t face rejection as long as I don’t venture into unknown territory. I won’t wait months on end to hear an editor’s reply if I don’t submit anything.

What about you, my friend? Where have you retreated from rejection? What have your insecurities and fears prevented you from doing?

That’s where Jesus comes in. He literally penetrated the disciple’s room and soothingly shared peace. His presence removed their fear and renewed their joy. Seeing His scars reminded them of what He’d suffered. What He’d come through. He’d conquered death and stood before them in victory!

I feel the Lord gently breaking into these barriers of my own making … whispering peace … urging me forward. He has a plan for my ministry—for you too. May we grasp His peace to go where He sends.

 “The disciples therefore rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus therefore said to them again, ‘Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you.’” – John 20:20-21

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