“And when it comes to really BIG decisions–if you disagree on what to do–you as the wife should submit to your husband.”
How many times have we as Christian women heard this wisdom? In one variation or another, I’ve heard and shared it. Surely it’s great advice … Biblical … timeless. Yet last week a different thought struck me–call it an ‘aha’ moment if you will.
Mark and I were discussing something over the phone. Regardless of its relative insignificance overall, each of us maintained an opinion about how it should be handled. Expressing our alternate viewpoints back and forth a few times, we struggled to arrive at a conclusion. Suddenly, clearly, revelation washed over me like a gentle stream of refreshing water. The Holy Spirit kindly pointed out that in moments like these–when facing LITTLE decisions–I needed to submit to my husband. So I did. Despite my misgivings about Mark’s solution, I simply agreed and trusted the Lord to work out the details. Sweet release.
I’ve been married almost 25 years, but just now I’m grasping this nugget of truth. Understanding it years ago would have prevented numerous, unnecessary difficult moments. While I’ve submitted on varying occasions, how many more times could I have surrendered my desires–in small things–simply to promote peace? Instead of pressing for my wants, I easily could have Let. Them. Go. And I’m certain my husband would have appreciated it.
But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Eph. 5:24, NASB
Most definitely, “in everything,” includes the ‘little’ things. Submission isn’t reserved only for life-changing, extraordinarily impactful decisions. Maybe even more powerfully, it applies to the seemingly obscure, everyday dilemmas we face.
Absolutely husbands and wives should discuss options together. I’m not suggesting a Christian wife shouldn’t have her own perspective, let alone a pulse. Sensitively, however, she should recognize when a discussion–good natured as it might be–starts to volley between his wants versus her wants. In that instant, she could relinquish her preference in favor of her husband’s. Yielding respectfully, she wisely could “pursue peace” (Heb. 12:14). Just sayin’. 🙂
So the next time we’re involved in one of ‘those’ conversations, let’s let go of our wishes. Acquiescing in little decisions renders BIG rewards.